Infant Care for Dummies – an entertaining evening

The last diaper I changed 18 years ago. Googling things like “taking care of twins” usually lead to Mami blogs that basically tell you that your life from now on is on the constant edge to suicidal, that you will never sleep again nor get your body back and that your friends are only good friends if they bring you food…

I stopped googling. 

Instead, Pouya and I spent a “night out” at the Red Cross Hospital in Munich where a wonderful nurse with 35 years of infant care experience teaches inexperienced grown-ups how to not kill their infants. It was hilarious. Some of my leanings:

  • How to spot young parents? Just look for people with puffy eyes and vomit on their shoulders. Our cute nurse was the only one in the room heartily laughing about this joke.
  • She warned us not to come back to the hospital if we think the baby has fever and instructed everyone to better learn how to measure temperature in the behinds.
  • Obviously, it is not a good idea to hold a conversation when changing boys’ diapers. Any distraction might result in you getting peed on. She also pointed out that, albeit being very small, little boys do have the ability to pee right into your face…Did I mention we’re expecting girls?

All together an entertaining evening which I can totally recommend to anyone. In case you run out of fun stuff to do, I would suggest to sign up for a “Säuglingspflegekurs“. Not more expensive than a movie ticket, and you’ll get free massage oil ;-).

A test of enduring uncertainty: my twin pregnancy

TTTS, IUGR and a whole lot of waiting

It was after two hours of sonography that the prenatal specialist closed his eyes as if he was going through his knowledge, repeating the observations. He summarized his findings in a rather sobering way: “That is the shit with identical twin pregnancies, they are never just easy.”

There was a size discrepancy between the twins that was hinting at a condition called Twin-twin-transfusion syndrome.It is a rarely occurring condition where blood is transfused unequally from one twin to the other. Left untreated it is lethal in the majority of cases. Treatment, according to this doctor, was not possible for the next couple of weeks. Hence, nature was control.

One week after the initial diagnosis, I assumed the worst. On the contrary, though, things had stabilized. All of a sudden, the doctor considered another condition, the so called intrauterine growth restriction.

It has now been multiple weeks, countless specialist appointments and hours over hours of Googling. Talking about it has become easier: We simply do not know what is going to happen. It has also taken me some time to internalize that there is nothing I can do but to accept faith and to keep stay positive.

Being open about it was very hard for me at first, showing vulnerability does not come easy at all times. Once I opened up I learned from other people who had lost twins, received recommendations for other specialists and felt an abundance of wonderful, encouraging vibes coming our way.

During the ultrasounds I see two kicking and curling not so tiny fetuses. They sometimes wave, suck on their thumbs and they are definitely restless, especially when the specialist is trying to measure them. It is hard to imagine that we might have to undergo laser surgery and that we are dealing with the risk of loosing one of them.

Accepting something that is out of one’s control has so far not been my strong suit. This time that is all I can do: trying to get comfortable with uncertainty.