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Let’s face it: in our daily lives time is mostly directed by others. So much so that I find it hard to listen to my body and remain mindful. A solo trip that let’s me go about days in my … Continue reading
The day I quit my job I called ata cycle in concord and made an appointment for a bike fit: your body gets measured, the data then gets fed into an adjustable bike and while you’re biking the computer spits out recommendations like saddle height. A couple of days later I picked up a white framed, pink handle barred carbon dream. And I named it Tharros, which is the ancient Greek word for courage.
After a couple of hundred miles in New England, Dubai, Germany and Canada (not all of them on Tharros), I have decided to do my first triathlon this summer. And I will do this one at home. After now four years in Boston I am literally taking my courage and moving to Germany. Almost four years ago I wrote a post titled “Danke, Carl Zeiss”. Since then I have been in touch with colleagues, working as a student during grad school, following company news, stayed in touch with many of my former colleagues. And, you’re probably guessing it already, the story continues: I will be joining the Corporate Zeiss Communications team at the beginning of June, ending my funemployment sooner than I would have thought.
While I will leave a great network of friends in Boston, I am more than excited to write that I will be accompanied by the man who has become my partner, wonderful friend, reliable accomplice and travel mate. Pouya will move to Germany a little later this summer, ready for lots of Hefeweizen, sausage, climbing the Southern German mountains on his bike, learning German (little does he know that he will most likely end up speaking with a heavy Swabian accent) and probably also becoming familiar with German neurotics.
I am leaving you, as always, with some funemployment impressions:
Cross-country skiing plus shooting – Biathlon – is one of my favorite winter sports to watch. I always wanted to cross-country ski, but every time I am close to mountains downhill just seemed so much more appealing.
A couple of weeks ago, after I walked my marathon and realized how much I love long weekend training sessions, I decided to sign up for a cross-country ski race. Not just any race, the “American Birkie“, the US version of the Norwegian Birkebeinerrennet, a cross-country ski marathon.
The only – not really logical – reason for me signing up for a ski marathon is: Why not? It will be a great motivator to go out and explore the beautiful North-East more, we have a great group of grad school friends all doing it and a good story never started with “I don’t think I can do that.”
As you can imagine I am awaiting snow this year more than ever. While you can train endurance and stability in the gym it does make sense to ski as often as possible. Last weekend I was finally able to put on skate-skis for the first time in my life. I should mention that my first challenge was to attach the skis to my boots, but once that was taken care of and I started skating, I realized: this is not as easy as I thought it would be. But it is a lot of fun! Especially if you find yourself in the middle of the forrest on a beautiful sunny sunday, skating alongside your boyfriend (who was crazy enough to sign up as well).
Whether I’ll be able to actually ski 50km at the end of February does not really matter at this point. What matters is that I finally did what I have always wanted to do and I am learning something new. I will for sure keep you posted.
Yesterday, December 6th, is Nikolaus. The only day I voluntarily cleaned my shoes. Why? Because – that’s the tradition – children put their clean boots in front of the house the night before December 6th, hoping that St. Nikolaus will reward them for having been on good.
As a strong believer that you shall never fully grow up Nikolaus continues to be a very special day for me & my family in December. This morning I woke up to so many Nikolaus messages from my whole family and yesterday I picked up a package filled with Nikolaus goodies from my Mom, just in time.
Yet, this 2016 Christmas season feels somewhat more intense to me. I was lucky enough to have my first warm Christmas wine, a real German Marzipanstollen (sweet bread with Marzipan, raisins and powdered sugar) and roasted Almonds at the Christmas market in Toronto last week and it felt a little bit like home.
I have not been home for one full year. Funny enough, my chronic complaints about Germany and some cultural features slowly turned into a romantic yearning for everything German & christmas, and I indulge in it (I even had a bread with Nutella for breakfast the other day). Obviously, this might change the moment I touch ground in Frankfurt.
I also have a feeling that this desire has to do with the fact that I will not be returning to Germany alone…and I am extremely excited to show Pouya my Germany during this very special season, including watching Sissi (a trilogy on the Austrian Habsburger queen Elizabeth in the 19th century), drinking lots of calories like spiked eggnog and hot cocoa with rum and eating Goose.
Meanwhile, until we land in Germany, I will hopefully be able to enjoy first snow and lots of seasonal adventures in Boston.
Last week I was walking through my Boston, feeling bestranged. Noticing, maybe more than ever, how much I am not American, sensitized towards differences. Factually, nothing has changed really after the election of Donald Trump, at least not yet. And not for me anyways – as a white Western European. My feeling has, though.
Last week my feeling towards this country has been deeply challenged. I have known for a while now that my appreciation for the United States stems from the fact that it presents me with great career opportunities and a way of going about life that is harder to find in Germany. Settling in a part of town that could easily be mistaken for a European city, spending my leisure time with other immigrants, and ultimately dating an immigrant enables me to be very much European in the America.
Last week I was, once again, amazed by the beautiful landscape & hospitality this country has to offer. Driving through the states of New York and Vermont, tasting Pinot Noirs, hiking Green Mountain trails, replenishing.
I have long accepted the fact that while Germany is my home, it is not the place where I am home. Yet last week it became very clear that I also do not belong to the US. And that is ok. Ok for now, especially after such wonderful fall memories of 2016:
Today I was talking to a woman from El Salvador about our experiences living in the states. She asked me if I had moved here with my family. When I explained to her that my entire family lives in my home town in Germany she looked at me and asked whether I was very lonely…
Maria Rita and Zdenka just left my apt after a what we call ladies’ night. It’s not really what society associates with it. It is time carefully carved out of or our busy lives with no phones present, with listening to whatever the other needs to and wants to share. It is my therapy session, my reality check, my place to giggle, to cry, to lay bare fears, to be weak, to be argumentative, to be honest, to be judgy.
And then I realized – that night out that got completely out of control, that after work conversation, that call to China at 5AM, that what’s app group in which everyone randomly shares absurd life pictures, the postcards from Germany, that fierce discussion about politics, that moment not needing words, that text message screaming words, that ease of being with someone that does not require you to put on an identity, that outspoken yet deeply felt respect, that really blunt advice, that insane laughter – that I am blessed with wonderful,kind and exceptional people in my life and it humbles me.
“Friends are those people that like you even after getting to know you.”
Auf meinem Rueckflug von Vegas nach Boston habe ich am Flughafen diese Tasche entdeckt. Noch immer bin ich erstaunt darueber, welche Worte sich im Englischen behaupten konnten.
Gestern habe ich lange mit meiner Mama telefoniert. Viele Leute haben mich in letzter Zeit gefragt, wie ich es so weit entfernt von meiner Familie aushalte und irgendwie hat mich das zum Nachdenken gebracht: Sollte ich zurueckkehren? Vernachlaessigt man automatisch seine Familie und Freunde, wenn man weit weg ist. Pauschale Antworten auf diese Fragen gibt es keine.
Meine Mama sagte dazu gestern etwas, was mich erstaunt, mit ganz viel Dank erfuellt und bestaerkt hat, sie sagte:
“Dein Vater und ich haben Dich doch nicht erzogen, damit Du bei uns bleibst. Wir haben Dich erzogen, damit Du machen kannst, was Du willst und immer weisst, wo Deine Heimat ist.”
Seit Wochen schreibe ich Blogideen in mein Notizbuch: Wie es ist, in einem Startup zu arbeiten, wie herrlich die ersten Strandtage in Neuengland sind, wie ich mich gefuehlt habe, als ich mein Arbeitsvisum erhalten habe. Aber alle Notizen nuetzen nichts, meine Schreibmuse hat mich voruebergehend verlassen…oder ich ziehe den Strand dem Schreiben vor. Deswegen starte ich heute einfach wieder von vorne, und zwar mit Bildern, Bildern der Woche, Bilder des Tages…und was sie mir bedeuten:
Schon wieder ein Sonnenuntergang (Gaehn…)
Jeden Abend andere Farben, andere Wolkenspiele, eine andere Stimmung. Und jeden Abend halte ich kurz inne, atme und laechle, weil ich hier sein kann, und will. Der Himmel ist bestimmt auch in Berlin oder Kassel oder Stuttgart manchmal so gewesen. Aber hier zieht er mich in seinen Bann, jeder bloede Sonnenuntergang…ich habe letzte Woche mein H1-B-Arbeitsvisum erhalten, gueltig bis 2019. Erst wollte ich weinen, dann lachen. Dann war ich einfach nur dankbar. Und seitdem erfuellt mich eine gewisse Ruhe. Dass ich jetzt einfach erstmal hier bin. Und hier bleibe, bis ich nicht mehr hier sein will.
Beacon Hill, 4.Juli
Ich habe am 4.Juli einen langen Spaziergang durch Boston gemacht und einfach nur die Stimmung in mich aufgesaugt. Ein heisser Sommertag, viele Flaggen, Hunde mit US-Leinen, gegen Nachmittag Horden von Menschen mit Bier und Decken auf dem Weg Richtung Charles River, um nachts bei Konzerten und Feuerwerk den US Geburtstag zu feiern. Dieses Bild ist bei mir zu Hause und es zeigt sehr gut, wie Beacon Hill ist. Beschaulich, sauber, ruhig, wie ein kleines Dorf in einer Stadt.
Heute habe ich die Nachricht von unserem Firmenanwalt erhalten: Meine Bewerbung um eine Arbeitserlaubnis (oder vielmehr die Bewerbung meiner Firma) hat es durch die Lotterie geschafft. Auch in 2016 gab es wesentlich mehr Bewerbungen als Plaetze, 233000 Bewerbungen fuer 65.000 Plaetze. Fuer mehr Informationen lohnt sich ein Blick auf diese H1-B Webseite.
Am 13. April war die Losung und Tooi hatte Losglueck ;-).
Was heisst das? Nicht zu frueh freuen, aber ein wichtiger Schritt. Ab jetzt ist es in der Hand der Firma und nicht mehr abhaengig vom Losglueck. VMTurbo muss beweisen, dass ich besser fuer die Stelle geeignet bin als Amerikaner.
Drueckt mir die Daumen!